Perfectly Watchable

The Guardian is the sort of star vehicle that you used to see in the 80s. Established older star – in this instance Kevin Costner – takes young pup – Ashton Kutcher – under his wing, teaches him whatever the job in question is and, in the process, both learn a little about life. Roll end credits.

And of its ilk, The Guardian is perfectly watchable. It’s utter nonsense of course, totally unbelievable, and full of chest-thumping machismo rather than genuine emotion, but it is perfectly watchable.

It’s basically An Officer and a Gentleman in the water: sort of An Otter and a Gentleman, then. The subject here is rescue swimming, the brave buggers who get dropped into rolling seas mid-hurricane to save sailors, fishermen and etc.

Costner plays Ben Randall, the coastguard’s finest swimmer. So dedicated to his job he neglects his marriage – yeah, I know, you’d already guessed that – the newly separated Ben is sent to teach at ‘A’ School, the training programme for the new recruits. Ben, you see, is troubled: as well as his marital difficulties, his last mission went horribly wrong and the rest of his crew died. He needs a shot at redemption, a chance to reassess his life. And, while he’s at it, the chance to whoop some rookie ass.

Rather than stick to the rules, Ben’s gonna do it his way and give these kids the real deal rather than the approved course. The stand-out recruit, Jake Fischer (Kutcher), has the talent but not the heart, so Ben’s gonna do what a, er, swimming coach has to do. Goddamit.

Cue much chest-thumping, a sweeping score, episodes of “you got my back” machismo and assorted high seas rescues. And, in Melissa Sagemiller, a rather lovely, feisty love interest.

As it all builds to its obvious testosterone-fuelled climax, The Guardian is daftly enjoyable, clichéd nonsense. Sadly, the makers – namely Andrew ‘The Fugitive’ Davis – then don’t know when to cut their losses in order to send everyone out on a Gilette ad-like, high-five-ing wave of euphoria.