Tele-Poor

Jumper is essentially a dynamite high-concept premise (instant teleportation anywhere), a checklist of photogenic cities to visit and no story to connect the dots.

Despite a script from prolific superhero screenwriter David S Goyer and Fight Club adapter Jim Uhls, plus Doug Liman (The Bourne Identity, Mr and Mrs Smith) at the helm, the year's early 'event movie' is a non event on every level. Even the two flawed Matrix sequels, as disappointing as they were, wipe the floor with it.

Yes, it looks tasty in the trailer, with Hayden Christensen, Sam Jackson and Billy Elliot, sorry, Jamie Bell appearing and disappearing all over the shop like X-Men's Nightcrawler. Until you discover all the film has in its arsenal is the far from revolutionary 'jumping' effect – so overused after only half an hour, that you'll wish they started hopscotching, hitch-hiking or anything else just for some variety.

In fairness, the prologue explaining young David's discovery of his power is competently filmed in a comic book origin tradition, combining teen romance, bullying, certain icy death and a dramatic first teleportation. Enjoy it while you can, for the Olympic-sized downhill slope starts here.

Grown-up David, played with bland seriousness by Christensen (which suited his descent into the Dark Side of the Force, but not this supposedly 'fun' movie), is an unlikeable loafer with a walk-in wardrobe filled with stolen bank notes, gold bullion, casino chips and more. He lives like a millionaire and 'jumps' around the world doing whatever and whoever he likes with no apparent consequences. Then, showing off in Rome to impress long time love Millie (Rachel Bilson), he meets the standoffish Griffin (Bell), whose motivations are as mysterious as his non-identifiable British accent

The film's first major set-piece, a boring fracas in Rome's magnificent Colosseum, sets the tone for the chaotic, poorly constructed action sequences that follow in Tokyo, Egypt etc. Christensen and Bell (who has a bizarre serial killer-style lair) relentlessly bicker and seem to be locked in a private duel to create the least charismatic and appealing character.