No Star Quality

With Shine Through It Oscar-nominated thespian Terrence Howard follows in the footsteps of Iron Man co-stars Robert Downey Jr and Jeff Bridges in recording Razzie-worthy albums. That Gywneth Paltrow bluegrass collection can’t be too far off.

Credit to Howard though for spurning the quick hip-hop buck. Credit promptly retracted for lovingly creating a singularly execrable piece of work. Take the opening track Love Makes You Beautiful. A swelling orchestra, an acoustic guitar line that sounds curiously unmelodic, and these winning words of unprecedented depth and perception, “love doesn’t kneel / love makes you bold / love makes you beautiful” while a children’s choir, I’m not kidding, goes “la la la la la la” in the background.

To quote Ben Stiller in Zero Effect (and why not; saves me having to dwell too long on this egotistic monstrosity), his metaphors are thin, his imagery is clichéd, and his thematic material is trite and heavy handed. In the context of Howard’s filmography it’s more Glitter than, well, anything else. Unless you’re the type of person who’s always front row centre at Marc Cohn gigs, this is best avoided.

Here’s Howard talking to the New York Times: “There’s a place in the Cayman Islands called Hell. It’s just all this sulfuric rock. It’s arid. That’s what acting is to me. I haven’t made it to the green valleys yet. The characters I’ve had to play have been in these harsh places. I haven’t been able to play the spring yet. I’m stuck in the middle of a desert with regard to acting. But with music, there’s a thawing out. There’s a spring in the music. So hopefully it will get me to summer, and I’ll sit up in the meadows someday.”

The review kinda writes itself, doesn’t it? Or not, as there’s no room left, and I for one am particularly grateful.